Tag: dilbert

New Poop Office Collection

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It may have been a while since I updated things on this site, but I definitely having been sitting on my ass! I’ve been putting together the new, gigantic Poop Office collection, and it’s coming out soon. Real soon. Like this week. Like this Friday, September 22.

Here’s what it looks like. Click on the thumbnails to see larger versions of the front and back covers. And that quote on the back cover, yeah that’s from the real Sam Henderson of Magic Whistle fame! And Lily is a real eight year old girl!

Poop Office - Tales from an Office Staffed by Poop Back Cover

You think your job stinks?

Poopert has the crappiest job ever! He works at Poop Office, an office staffed entirely by poop! And if you think Poopert and his crappy co-workers have it easy, you don’t know crap. These toiling turds spend their days generating T.P. reports on their compooters, clearing out paper jams from the photocrapier, and making buttato salad for the next poopluck lunch. If that’s not enough, the office politics are a real mess in a dump like this.

Collected for the first time in one colossal comic pile are the first six issues of the hilarious Poop Office comic book series along with over 70 pages of never-before-seen bonus content. There’s even an exclusive peek under the lid at how Poop Office is made!

With a satisfying slurry of poop humor and the struggles of working life, Poop Office is sure to appeal to readers of all ages, from little squirts to old farts!

It’s simple really. I took all six issues of Poop Office along with over 70 pages never-before-seen bonus content and stuffed it into one big Poop Office paperback book. All that beautiful black and white poop you love plus stuff like trading cards, variant covers, and secret Poop Office script pages!

Look what the critics are saying!

“Do yourself a favor and check these books out.”
– Times Union

“It’s just a hilarious book, and I highly recommend it. Take it at face value and it’s brilliant.”
– Paperkeg Podcast

“I had a blast reading this. If you see the dude at a comic con and he’s selling Poop Office, I say pick it up.”
– ComixBrew Podcast

“What could easily be dismissed as simple gag comics easily refract under scrutiny into social commentary of the highest order.”
– Comics Bulletin

There are even more glowing praise quotes included in the book!

What, you don’t like paper books anymore? You think they’re fossil relics of a bygone era? Fine, I also have a digital version that’s in full color and high definition in a nice DRM-free PDF. This digital version will be available from ComiXology soon, but in the meantime you’ll be able to buy it directly from me.

Yeah, that’s right. I said “buy it.” But where can you buy it? That’s a good question… to be answered… tomorrow…

(Both versions will actually be available on Amazon.com on Friday, but I’m being coy because I have another announcement I want to tease for tomorrow.)

Announcement for the First Day of April

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I have a totally real and not-at-all joke announcement to make today, a Saturday! Let this post serve as official notice that I am launching a sequel series to Poop Office that will continue forever and ever. I’m probably going to spend all my free time on this new series and won’t have time for much of anything else even. Yes, this is all true, and today is April 1.

Surely over the years you will look back fondly on this day, April 1, as the first day of your love affair with this perennial series that only ended with my death. Enjoy the first four installments.

Poopert in Hell #1

 

Poopert in Hell #2

 

Poopert in Hell #3

 

Poopert in Hell #4

Baltimore Comic-Con 2015 Aftermath!

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Baltimore Comic-Con

I’m still recovering from what was our most successful Baltimore Comic-Con yet! It was a great convention this year. The weather was nice. The people were nice. And I got to see Edward James Olmos‘ mustache from 30 feet away!

This was also the first con that we tried advertising in the bathroom. They were only up for a few hours on Friday before the convention center staff cleaned them up, so I think we probably weren’t allowed to post stuff there. Oh well. Maybe next time! We got compliments about the ads, so I thought I’d post it here for anyone who missed it.

You smelled the poop. Now read the comic!

Big thanks to everyone who came by to see us. For those who couldn’t make it, Poop Office #6 is now available in digital form on the store page. If you’re a ComiXology fan, I’m working on getting Poop Office #6 up there, too. It’ll probably be a few weeks, though.

Anyway, let’s get to the main event! Here’s what people were saying around the Poop Office table this year:

  • I think [our cat] would like that [catnip toy]. She needs it!
  • I’m looking for a special poop.
  • (Pointing at the cover to issue #4) Is that piss in the water jug? Oh god. I’m done. (leaves)
  • I want to laugh but I don’t want to be insulting.
  • (Re: poop plush) Child: I want one of these. Parent: No!
  • I gather you guys love bowel movements.
  • Poop, there it is!
  • This is a very attractive nuisance for children.
  • Oh look, it’s the poops again!
  • Power Girl: I have to say that was really slick putting ads in the stalls. Frickin’ brilliant.
  • You guys keep doing what you’re doing.
  • Alright, give me the shit!
  • I’m sure you get this a lot — they look like burnt chicken nuggets.
  • (While taking someone’s photo in front of the plushes) Say ‘Poop’!
  • I’m gonna get in trouble for this, but… (buys something)
  • I don’t like this. I don’t like it because it’s poop.
  • Look! Little shits!
  • (Girl had whole stuffed poop collection at home) I got poop! This is my third poop doll!
  • (Regarding his wife) Of all the comics I bought, this one upset her the most.
  • Really? Shit art?
  • I look forward to reading these, God help me.
  • (After handing him the free sketch I did for him) Last year you were the best buy of the convention. This year you’re the best sketch.
The winner in the “I can’t remember if it was the mom or the child who liked/disliked Poop Office” category is:
  • Mom: But it’s poop! Child: Mom, you just don’t understand.

Baltimore Comic-Con 2015

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Baltimore Comic-Con

Poopert and the rest of the gang from Poop Office (including me) are back to stink up Charm City this weekend! We’ll all be at the Baltimore Comic-Con at table A70. Stop by and fart hello!

Poop Office @ Table A70

I'll see you in Baltimore!

 

HeroesCon 2015 Aftermath!

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I’m still recovering from this weekend’s HeroesCon. It was our first trip there. I’d heard about how great this convention was my whole life, and it definitely lived up to the hype! Charlotte’s a beautiful city, the con was a true celebration of comic books, and the evening events had free guacamole! What more could you ask for? I want to send a big thank you to everyone we met this weekend! We definitely had a lot of fun and will probably be returning to HeroesCon sometime in the future.

Poop Office's table was right next to the bathroom

Our table was literally right next to one of the bathrooms. It was so right next to it that people pointed it out more than once every 10-15 minutes (seriously, we counted), which was fun!

Here are some other things people said to us:

  • I want to hold your poop in my hands.
  • That’s so funny, I’m gonna die.
  • It’s poop time.
  • It’s awkward going to the bathroom right next to the poop sign.
  • I don’t condone this.
  • This needs to be made into a motion picture.
  • I would invest in this.
  • (Mother of two children joins them at the table) Of course this is where I would find my boys.
  • (Smells one of the plush dolls) This smells like a stuffed animal.
  • (Notices we’re right next to the bathroom) They got the Poop Office next to the poop office!
  • This is probably the only time where you’d say, “Yes! I got seated next to the bathroom!”

There were a few kids that thought we were selling potato/peanut merchandise:

  • Daddy, look! Potatoes!
  • Look, potato people!
  • It’s a peanut!

This con’s winner is the guy who managed to see through my entire scam!

  • Really… you sell stuffed brown pillows and call it poop?

Honorable mention goes to the “y’all” comments we got:

  • Y’all are hilarious.
  • Y’all are brilliant.
  • Y’all are crazy, you know that?

And now please take a moment of silence to remember those that didn’t make it:

Dead poops

RIP Smashy, Sleepy, Scar, and Befuddled

 

Poop Office – The Job Inturdview

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To celebrate National Boss’s Day, take this new Job Inturdview character quiz and
find out which empooyee you’re the most like!

Poop Office - The Job Inturdview

Click the image above to take the quiz.

 

Baltimore Comic-Con 2014 Aftermath!

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Hey, check out this crappy photo I took of my table with my iPad. The camera on this thing sucks.

Baltimore Comic-Con table

But y’know what didn’t suck? This year’s Baltimore Comic-Con! It was bigger and longer than ever! I got to meet a lot of really nice folks and see some old friends. I also bought some comics and met Joel from MST3K. He was sitting next to Chewbacca.

Some interesting things were also said at my table. Here’s a list of the best:

  • Adorbs!
  • I love Poop Office.  So does everybody in my office!
  • This piqued my interest for some reason.  I’m concerned about myself.
  • You seem like the right one to ask: Where are the bathrooms?
  • I feel weird holding a poop in my hand.
  • You guys are disturbed. But I like it.
  • This has been the talk of the town all day.
  • My son loves his doodie
  • [To her friend after pointing at Poopina on the cover of issue #2] That’s you!
  • That’s ingenious and disgusting.
  • [Choosing a button to buy] I’ll take the one with the penis.
  • Child: This is the best thing I’ve seen in my entire life.
    Mom: You’re young.
  • Child: Mom, would you like a [poop] action figure?
    Mom: I can make my own myself, thanks.
  • [Buys his wife a poop button] Don’t say I never bought you shit!
  • Why can’t I have an action figure in the bathroom?
    [His girlfriend responds] You make plenty of action figures in the bathroom.
  • I’m so glad that this exists.
  • I think this is the best thing I’ve seen here today.
  • I can’t wait to tell everyone!
  • I can’t stand it. I’m in love.
  • [To her kids] No Poop Office, c’mon!
  • Here’s Poop Office! [To his friend] Huh, I thought this was something you were making up.
  • Oh my god… [more distressed] Oh my god… [minute or two later] Oh my god…This is really interesting.
  • Mom, are you having fun smelling the poop?

And the winner for best thing said at my table at this year’s Baltimore Comic-Con goes to something that was said to my editor-girlfriend who was sitting next to me at the table and helps me sell poop stuff…

Not to offend you or anything, but you have the most masculine handshake of any woman I’ve met today.